- Mark:
- Hopefully on the line tonight should be organ bod Dave
- Dave:
- Yeah!
- Lard:
- Hiya!
- D:
- You alright?
- M:
- I'm fine, how are you?
- D:
- What a lovely song that was, Nice Cave.
- M:
- Beauty that, really nice.
- D:
- Beautiful.
- M:
- You sound nice and mellow tonight Dave.
- D:
- Well you know I've been on the err..
- L:
- On the pop.
- D:
- Yeah.
- M:
- Right, okay, Beth Ortons here, you played on her record didn't you?
- D:
- Yeah, say hello to her for me.
- Beth:
- Hello
- D:
- Are you still talking to me, was it okay?
- B:
- It was brilliant.
- D:
- Thanks.
- M:
- There you go alright.
- L:
- She said it was a memorable performance.
- D:
- Well it always is when I play with my organ, you know.
- M:
- Wahey, Lard come on.
Boom boom on the drumkit
- L:
- Sorry mate, will you do that gag again.
- D:
- Well, I don't know if I can do that again.
- L:
- Alright, I'll just do it (drums), it's alright.
- M:
- You could just edit those bits, and it'll sound quite good, right now then,
we've got a special added audio bonus tonight, everytime you get one wrong, Beths gonna
do this (fart sound), nice one Beth.
- L:
- I can see this double act becoming a threeway.
- M:
- Your drummer Al, he got three last night, Dave.
- D:
- Right.
- M:
- He's set the pace, right.
- D:
- He's got an A-Level an all, Jesus.
- M:
- Has he, whooo crikey, well as of this moment you've got five crap CD's.
- D:
- Right.
- M:
- Let's see if you can keep them.
Wheel of Misfortune Theme with added fart noises.
- M:
- Right, here we go, Lard spin that wheel.
- L:
- Questions from your dad.
- M:
- Alright Dave, here we go. What is the shortened size of paper measuring
eight and a quarter inches by eleven and three quarter inches? What kind of paper
is that?
- D:
- What kind?
- M:
- Like you know, A, A what?
- L:
- What size?
- M:
- A what?
- D:
- A what? I dunno, Rizla!
Laughs galore
- M:
- A Rizla, how big are your Rizlas, Dave? and can you tell us where you get 'em
from, I'll give you a point for that A4 was the answer we were
looking at, but that's not as good as his answer is it...Spin it again Lard, spin that
mother of a wheel.
- L:
- Dave.
- M:
- You're not fixing that are you?
- L:
- Not at all.
- M:
- Right Dave, what is missing from this famous pop group of the sixties,
mmmm, D, Dozey, Beek, Mick and Titch?
- D:
- David.
- L:
- Waaahaaaay, close.
- D:
- Well I don't like Dave, it's better to be called David.
- L:
- Bit of dignity.
- M:
- David, D, Dozey, Beeky, Mick and Titch.
- L:
- Michael and Titch.
- M:
- Right spin again.
- L:
- Ooooh dear, er Elvis.
- M:
- Elvis, right, are you big on Elvis Dave?
- D:
- Erm, sometimes.
- M:
- Which of the following was a hit film for Elvis Presley, Boys Boys Boys, Girls
Girls Girls, or Girls and Boys come out to play dum dee dum, dee dum dee dum? Which one?
- D:
- Erm, Girls Girls Girls.
- M:
- Is right, is the right answer.
- L:
- Fantastic what a mind.
- M:
- You're getting Beth miffed, now, cause she's not had a chance to do her sound effect.
Lets have one for good measure anyway Beth.
Fart sound
- L:
- Aaaah, that was rubbish, what an anti-climax.
- M:
- That sounded really painful that ooooohh.
Fart Sound
- M:
- You've fructured your rectum there.
(Fart sound and Lard giggling.)
- M:
- Right now then spin that wheel again.
- L:
- And we're looking at Linda McCartney's cookbook.
- M:
- Okay Dave Linda McCartney, Are you a veggie Dave?
- D:
- Erm, yeah kind of.
- M:
- Right okay, Linda is married to Paul McCartney, why is that then?
- D:
- Why? He's got loads of money and he was in the Beetles.
- M:
- No.
- D:
- Erm, because he used to use, my dad's A4 paper and she...
- L:
- Your struggling.
- M:
- Your struggling aren't you?
- D:
- Why's she married to him, I don't know?
- M:
- Because, he loves her cooking.
- D:
- Aaah, I don't believe that, he used to eat meat before he met her.
- M:
- We've had the answer, hang on...(attempted fart noise).. you've broken it, Ooooh
fart sound
- M:
- Let's have the last question for Dave out of Tindersticks.
- L:
- The 64 pence question.
- M:
- Oooooh, the 64 pence question, did you say the 64 pence question?
- L:
- Yes, i'll fill (drum machine sounds and demo).
- M:
- Right quality.
- Katie:
- Beth is filling as well.
- L:
- Filling what?
- M:
- Right, here we go, give him a chance, Dave, if Dave Bowie saves one pence for every
year of his life, and his mum gave himan extra fourteen pence for his last birthday, how much
money would he have?
- D:
- Well I'd say 64 pence.
- L:
- Yeah, what a mind, mathematican.
- D:
- Is that right?
- M:
- That's right Dave, you've beaten Al the drummer.
- D:
- Well that's because accidents can happen.
- M:
- Right, I didn't hear that.
- L:
- I didn't, but I don't think I wanted to really.
- M:
- Congratulations, Dave, do you feel gratified?
- D:
- Erm, yeah kind of.
- M:
- Good, well thank you for joining us tonight.
- L:
- Have you told him what the prizes are going to be?
- M:
- The prize, what is the prize?
- L:
- Two egg cups.
- M:
- Two egg cups.
- L:
- Not necessarily matching.
- M:
- Right, okay then, so we'll see how we go, who's on tommorrow, Dave?
- D:
- I think it's Neil.
- M:
- Neil.
- D:
- And he's gonna get five out of five.
- M:
- Is he?
- D:
- I think he's got two A-Levels.
- M:
- Ah, right there's no guarentee of scoring on this quiz, having qualifications.
Alright thanks vey much Dave.
- D:
- Thank you.
- L:
- Bye.
- K:
- Bye.
- L:
- Bye.
(the theme again) |
caper
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