Shit Agent phones BBC Accounts

SA:

Oh, I don't mind admitting it at the moment, I've got absolutely no money, I'm stoney broke. Let's have a look here, which people with invoices that haven't paid. Bloody loads of them, honestly I don't know what they take me for. BBC, right I'll have the BBC, don't you worry, I'll have this lot. Don't know who they think they are, never get their act together, don't know why I pay my licence for...I don't pay my licence, but you know what I mean anyway bunch of tosspots. Come on you bleeding idiots.

(Brrrrrring briiinng)

BBC:

Hello.

SA:

Hello is that BBC Accounts...you're a bunch of cunts...hello, hello ...bloody hell must have been cut off. Well let's try again, they see me coming that's what it is...they see it's Shit Agent, I'll take him for a ride cause he's a right tosspot. They're all bloody wrong, I'm the best in the business. (brinnnnnggg brrrring) they treat me like shit, I'm gonna have this cow now. I don't know what they're playing at.

Hello BBC Accounts, it's Shit Agent here again, look don't put the phone down, I didn't mean what I said, listen look I've got to tell you now right...erm, what is it about me...erm, have I got 'I am a twat' written me forehead or something, cause that's how you treat me...yes it is...no don't give me any of that lip...or I'll come and batter you ...listen to me, just listen to me right....about two months ago...that's eight weeks... I had Ken Cutterbutt the manure sculptor and he's on Alan Pitchforks show you know... Pepper Mill at One...yeah alright I know about that...you've had an invoice for yonks and you've not paid it... right...now listen to me, do you think I'm a registered charity eh...now what it is you may have the invoice...it doesn't have Mr Manure, you can't send out invoices like that ...it may have Mr Shit written on it...which is like his business name,,,no don't give me that ...right...you're a twat and you're husbands a twat as well alright...okay...look listen you haven't paid me...you what...you've paid it...well thanks very much for your prompt payment...it's been a pleasure doing business with you, listen...bloody hell... I've been cut off again...Christ almighty.