You Wouldn't Would You Weekly
Press ReleaseI was reading today that when people tell you that they love you, they're actually talking to their own tiny reflections in your eyes. I forget where I actually read this, it may have been 'That's a Load of Old Bollocks' Magazine. Research apparently proves that we are a race of naracists, whose first instinct in love is addressed to the self.That's all very well if you're glamourous showbiz couples like Dave Bowie and his lovely supermodel wife Eamon, or of course me and our kid. What have ordinary poor people with eyes too close together from generations of inbreeding and lots of horrid spots from too much fried food...people outside Scotland as well. Rest assured you lot that even though me and Lard are gorgous wealthy celebrities who live in a glittering star studded world, we do know that most peoples lives are not like that. We are still in touch with ordinary people and treat with delacacy and respect the lives of you the thick as two short planks pig ugly gets. And to show how much we want you to beable to look deep into someones eyes and say 'I love you' to yourself, we're launching a new publication to redress the balance. For too long our newsagents shelves have been full of magazines celebrating the lives of the beautiful and famous Hello, Vogue, The Face, 40 Plus. Now comes a glossy mag celebrating the lives of those with faces like a slapped arse. So if you know any fat biffas send their photos in to 'Scrawn and Lard Publishing, BBC Radio One, Oxford Road, Manchester M60 1SJ'. Mark your envelopes 'Fat Biffa Enclosed', and imagine their delight when they find themselves tastefully displayed within issue one of 'You Wouldn't Would You Weekly'.
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| Mark Radcliffe - Editor |
